Why do I feel this way?

I awoke this morning at 3:04 or 3:03 am like I do most of the time. Sometimes it's later or earlier between the hours of 2 am and 6 am. So the first thing I did was look up sleep disorders then I had a realization. Why do I always feel the need to check wikipedia for mental disorders whenever I have a problem in my life? It's like, I WANT something to be wrong with me... I cut myself a couple days ago.. I had a reason but if I exposed it people wouldn't understand... I just want to know the answers.. Maybe I just want attention because I don't have friends.